A Caterpillar or a Butterfly? — Anew Well Nutrition

When I was a child, I vividly remember reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. Looking back, this makes perfect sense. The pages were filled with food, of course I loved it. There are two pages I remember well where the caterpillar eats through enough food to make his stomach hurt including pickles, ice cream, sausage, and watermelon (to name a few). In the end, he overcomes his stomachache, eats some fresh green leaves, builds a cocoon, and transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

I didn’t think this book would be relevant to me in 2021, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. We picked it up this weekend at a children’s bookstore along with a few other books we’re excited to share with our future child. I can only hope this baby loves that book (and food, too if I’m being honest) as much as I do.

I can’t think of a better image to show how much life has changed.

I can’t mention my future baby without mentioning my past baby. We recently said goodbye to Maggie, a lab I rescued 17 years ago. She went everywhere with me and every decision I made in my adult life took her into consideration. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to sleep, Maggie was on my mind. The big decisions like what size Uhaul should we rent so that she can comfortably ride with us on the move to NYC and what apartment we should choose to live in so that she could have the easiest access to a park to the small decisions like where to walk every morning so that she could get in her favorite sniffs. I loved that girl and I miss her more than I can put into words. Losing her feels like losing a part of me.

My life is now very clearly divided into two parts - adult life with Maggie and adult life with a baby. But, for me, it’s hard to honor the past without a feeling of sadness. Those who can look back and not feel the sting of what’s now left behind and instead look at it with a fond smile and a warm heart are people I admire, but honestly can’t relate to. I’ll get there eventually, but for now I am left feeling simultaneously sad about what’s left in the past and so excited about what’s to come.

Maggie died on April 7th. A few days later, I picked up a book I bought at the beginning of this year - A Year of Positive Thinking by Cyndie Spiegel. April 8th says this:

“Transformation can be painful, but it is always worthwhile. Life has a funny way of hitting hard. And when it does, just do the best you can. That is enough. Trust that no matter how tough this experience is for you, you will come out of it transformed. Transformation changes caterpillars into butterflies, and it changes people into extraordinary human beings.”

So today I feel like the caterpillar. Every day is a new flavor to taste on the way to a transformation that is surely going to be the most beautiful one yet.

p.s. If you typically come here looking for nutrition and fitness info, I will get back to that, I promise! And no, I am not an expert in pregnancy fitness or even nutrition in pregnancy, so I can promise you I won’t be covering much on that topic.

p.p.s If you like these personal updates, let me know in the comments or send me a message at allison@anewwell.co.